1 f Jef, So wrong, so right

I write this with a very heavy heart.  Not a heavy heart for 1 f Jef, but for the people of Boston, the marathon runners, and all emergency personnel, that were involved in the bombing yesterday.  I thought my work day was hard.  But it pales in comparison to the events that took place.  I have nothing to complain about and should never complain about anything ever...........again.  My life has changed once again.  Nothing I do can bring back that horrible time and make it better.  I wish I could.   I wish I could kiss all the hurts and tears that were shed and make the pain all go away.  But, I can't.  I can only pray for recovery for the injured, the families who lost loved ones, the bystanders, the medical personnel, the law enforcement agencies, and anyone else who had to participate in that vile and horrible circumstance.  My mouth literally could runneth over with swear words and screams.  It won't ease the pain my heart has, or repair what's been hurt so I will deal with it in my own way.  I will once again have to learn to live my life without fear.  I will have to learn all over again how to live one day at a time.  I will have to learn again how to not look back, but look at the "right now's" of my life.  I will have to learn again not to look at the tomorrows.  I will get over this, but I will never forget.  My heart will hurt for a long time.   My heart will fill itself up again with more love to share.   My heart will never take what I have NOW for granted.   My thoughts and prayers are for all involved in yesterdays tragedy.  May you find peace and solace.

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These crazy writings are fed from friends.  Friends, who I see and hear physically, and some that I only read in print.  These thoughts from them are what feeds my brain to send that signal down the arms, through the fingers, and then type the words on a keyboard.  1 f Jef is a common thread that is shared.   I'm just not afraid to write about it.  I hear your thoughts.  These thoughts are somehow channeled to me by the inner children itching to come out and play, but their human hosts are afraid to let them out.  Embarrassed maybe and afraid to admit that they are as obsessed with 1 f Jef as I am?  Maybe so.  Closet obsessors, it's time to come out of the closet and play. Stand tall.  Be proud.  Unite with all the other inner children out there.   Everyone has inner children and I am taking them out to play on a playground that is worth playing on..........   It's okay to feel this way.  It's okay to act this way, and it's okay to be this way.  Being full of love and life.  There is nothing wrong with that.  When people tell you to "get a life", do it.  Let the inner child out.  They are suffocating inside.  Free them.

How can you live a life as normal as possible when the media loves to mix it up, turn it upside down and sideways and then print it to their satisfaction?  Case in point...............1 f Jef wants to be the next Bachelor........I think when hell freezes over he'll want to do it.   I laugh when I read these.  It's all a mind game.  They print the crap on a continual basis so it plants the seed in our minds.  Eventually some people will believe it's the truth.   I'm guilty as charged until my human host slaps me silly in the face and tells me to wise up.

Curiosity can be a terrible emotion to have or it can be a pleasing one.  I'm not so sure which emotion this inner child might have if 1 f Jef is the next Bachelor.  I still think riding off into the sunset at a fast gallop is the way to head out of Dodge.  I just don't see how any real connection could be made with any of the girls.  They would do just about anything, no, I take that back, they WOULD DO anything to be the "one".  How sincere is that?  How real is that?  Maybe I need to channel my inner thoughts and telepathically send them to 1 f Jef........don't do it, don't do it, don't do it..............I think he mentioned somewhere in an interview, that he was looking for a "normal" girl......well.................I guess what's normal for him is abnormal for the rest of us.  Or, is that the other way around?  I hope it's just talk and not serious.  Pretty stupid of this inner child to even remotely entertain the possibility that 1 f Jef could want to do this all over again to find love.  Geeeeeeezzzzzzzzzzzze. Time for that face slap..........Whack!!!!!

At this very moment, 1 f Jef is a pretty good bright spot to focus on.  I'd rather dwell upon something good and pleasing to look at that puts a smile on my face and gives my heart a happy beat or two.

I do have a question that begs to be answered.  What's the deal with the tongue in your recent pics?  Am I so old and out of sync that I'm missing this trend?  Frankly, don't care for the "trend" if that is indeed the case.  Is this simply a statement act on your part?  Whatever it is........it's yucky!!!  Not a fan of  that kind of "tongue"!!!! Better take care of it though as my momma used to say, "you stick it out too much, and someone's going to cut it off."  I chose to keep my tongue where it belonged.  Attached to the inside of my mouth.

It's nice to see 1 f Jef interact once again on twitter.  I know his dance card has been full lately with all the places he's been to, but still.......it is nice to see him post on twitter.   It doesn't matter how busy he has been or how quiet he is, the media will always find something to say about the man, 1 f Jef.  He's just that much fun to write about.

What's so wrong with liking a person that can throw a look and make you melt into a puddle of sweet sensations? Or walk in skinny jeans that only "he" can wear?  Make talking sound like it's silk being draped over soft skin?  In my rule book, absolutely nothing.

I've tried to say goodbye a couple of times.  Say my goodbyes to someone who has made me believe that I can change the world.  He's made visions come true.  All you have to do is believe in what you want, how you do it, and then just go do it.  This is what he does.  Make believers out of us all.  He still pulls at my heart strings and because of that, I am still sticking to him like glue.  I have to know what's next.  What cause or causes is he after now?  Whatever it is, it will be a good. Because he is just that good and...........oh, so right!!

Twitter@CotySimon