1 f Jef, Jefology

Over this past weekend, I ended an incredible decade of my life and started laying the foundation of another long and winding decade.  I've quit looking ahead.  I now look only at today.  If I look ahead, then I realize that I am getting old.  I haven't passed the over the hill portion of my life as I feel like that hill is still too far off in the distance. Truth be known....I am over the hill. They say you are only as old as you feel.  I may look old, but inside of me I feel young.  Age is just a word..............it doesn't matter how young or old you are.  It's still just a word.

It's hard to tell anymore whether people are being nice, mean, complimentary, hypocritical, or sarcastic when it comes to 1 f Jef..............Jefology is a study of 1 f Jef.....He's become the new bachelor degree of science.

A mean tweet went out to him last week.  I am going out on the limb and say, this lady is bipolar.  She's up, she's down.  She was way up in the clouds when there was TeamJemily.  She still has her head in the clouds and can't see anything but gray.  She's a fine example of believing what you read from the trash mags.  So what if 1 f Jef had his pic taken and posted under his IG account with he and two gals.  And, maybe the one is a 20 something college gal.  Does that mean he is dating her?  Now a days, guys have as many "girl" friends, as "guy" friends.  She was inappropriate, out of line, and totally off the wall.  She is still in the fairytale section at the library it seems.  

Even in a situation like this, 1 f Jef still has style and class when he is putting the screws to someone.  He showed some respect when he didn't have to.  1 f Jef, you don't know how glad we are to see you respond.  How hard did you have to bite your tongue to keep from "really" telling her off?  It doesn't matter.  How you did it was fine.   You really are a good guy.   Your fans have your back.  But it was nice to see you defend your own back as well.   Could we see more of your responses in the future?  It's nice to see that you are still alive and kicking and have a sense of humor through all of the bullshit that is out there.  The media can't stay quiet for long when it comes to you.  They will always try to stir the pot...........when someone other than media slams, makes fun, or is just plain mean, it's nice to see your back bone rise to attention...........

1 f Jef is fun, amusing, and is still a great subject matter to write about.  He gives hope to many people that might not have had any for a long time.  What that hope is, it depends on the person.  He gives people something to look forward to.  They follow him on all of the social media sites, they look forward to reading or seeing something from him.  His fan base becomes sad and disconnected if he doesn't post something.  When he does,  it's a cryptic message or a question that only he can answer, and it drives the fans gray matter into a frenzy.  You bring the best of people to the surface (and the worst creepos also).  

"Where am I"?................your fans figured it out from the picture you posted.  They did their sleuthing and stalking and found out where in California you were or still are.............I wonder if your lack of pictures, twitter commentary, and vine vids is a hint.........California is a good place for peace, relaxation, and the beach.  "The waves of the sea help me get back to me".   Is this what you needed?  Peace....relaxation to get back to you?  Are you refreshed from the sea air, and refueled from the sea water?  I hope so.  You remain quiet.  This is not like you.  You are the king of social media.  What's happening?  

We all know that inspiration from him is a trait he has.  The guys hate him and the ladies love him for it.  Everyone wants a 1 f Jef in their life. The ladies have a love/hate for 1 f Jef.  They hate him, cause he doesn't pay attention to them.  Some think he's a playboy, a party boy, a pretty boy.........is that what judging a book by a cover means?  If a book has a handsome guy on a front cover, wearing glasses, holding a dog, sitting in an easy chair with a fireplace behind him with a blazing fire in it.........what would your impression be?  A book maybe on how to get rich in 10 days or less? A romance novel?  An autobiography maybe?  You don't know until you pick it up, read the inside cover or a few pages of chapter 1.  You may have to read half of the book before it becomes interesting.  Isn't that life?  We don't know 1 f Jef.  He's that book that we keep on turning the pages and keep on reading.  He's a never ending book................will we ever see the end?   The question is.......do you 1 f Jef want to give us the ending?  Is your silent treatment telling us you want to be left alone, move on with your life without interruption and maybe "date" normally?...............

My time writing this blog has come to an end.  I'm done, finished........no more writing about 1 f Jef.  I've stuck up for him, had his back, wrote all there is that can be told about the kid.  He's moving on.  He needs to move on and we need to help him move on.  Live his life as he sees fit.  He'll always be the nice guy to pose in pictures with.  I have no doubt about that.  But it's time Joe Public leaves him alone.  Give him some breathing room.  I'll continue to be interested in him, read what's printed, truth or lies, but there is no more from me on 1 f Jef.  This is the end.........................unless, he gives me a reason to continue on.  I need a sign......................show me a sign..........

twitter@CotySimon

I'm looking for new ideas to blog about.  Something I can put a twist or turn into.  Any ideas?  

1 f Jef, Show n Tell

The weather is heating up.  Officially, it's still spring for a few more days.  Summer is just around the bend or corner.  Whatever!!.....I just know that it's hot.  I rarely complain about the heat.  I can always cool off by jumping in a lake, a swimming pool, or run through the sprinklers.  I live in an air conditioned home,  drive a car with A/C, and when I do work, there is A/C running wild......So bring on the heat. And I don't mean the Miami Heat. (go Spurs)..........Living in a desert state, there isn't a lot of humidity.  The air is dry.  It's not the best air for skin, but I deal with it.   I wear enough clothing to cover this fat ass of mine and my sassy personality without offending anyone.  Plus, I don't have to wear shoes or stuff my feet in to coverings called socks.  My feet scream and put up a fuss when they have to live inside socks and shoes.   I love summer.  I love the heat.  I love bare feet.  Most of all, I love half dressed men..............this inner child is pretty excited for the Bachelorette and the Mr. America competition!!!!  Bring it on.................1 f Jef....there needs to be more of you, too!!!

Sure as shootin' there Tex, we've got us a country bumpkin.  He loves him some country music and Tim McGraw.  But then again, who doesn't like Tim McGraw and 1 f Jef.  I guess it's cool now to like country music and if it wasn't, it will be now.....'cause 1 f Jef likes Tim McGraw who sings country music and that makes you cool.  He really does have a little country in him after all.  I think we heard someone bring that to our attention already............... I still have an image in my head of 1 f Jef in just chaps and a cowboy hat.......yippee ki yay..........

I'm watching  Des's Bachelorette journey to find love.  I've purchased in bulk, fairy dust in various colors and have been busy spreading and sprinkling the sparkle around.  Been waving the magic wand around, too..............I'm dedicating one wand for Ben......going to wave that sucker  around and hope that he disappears soon.  Although.......there's got to be one in each season to add drama......Ben this is your time to wallow in your ego while you can.  I really don't see you making it too much longer.  You're either going to get your lights punched out, Des is going to see you for the jerk you are, or both.  The rest of the guys are pretty decent.

Now then, 1 f Jef..............I'm thinking you know that you've got some competition.  It's friendly competition though.   Utah has another gent on the Bachelorette this season.  He can spin basketballs, but he can also serve up volley ball with a broken finger........sitting in an inner tube, in a swimming pool.......But only 1 f Jef can spin a pillow to one of his bros serenading him to a circus themed song, and then adding some "Gene Kelly" steps by tap dancing away.  Great way to step it up!!!  (Hahahah).  Gene Kelly you are not.  I'm okay with that as it's not your dance steps or pillow spinning that we're looking at!  Have you lost your touch with spinning two pillows?   I still want to see you juggle while riding the uni cycle.  Even better, please ride the cycle, while patting that nice head of hair of yours, and rubbing your belly.......master that, and you will be king..............not sure a lot of people can do this.  So that is your challenge.  I don't think you like to be backed in a corner and will never back down from a challenge.  And, since you have time on your hands,  make this happen for us.  Ride toward us on the cycle and do a little pitter pat on yourself.  Make us laugh until we have tears falling down our cheeks.  I'm going to keep mentioning this until you actually do it.

There is one huge difference between you and Brooks.  I know what Brooks does for a living but for the life of me and the rest of your 250K fans, we don't know what you do anymore.  As far as we know, you spend countless hours grooming your hair, working out to maintain that buff, fabulous bod, then deciding what to wear for the occasion of the day.......that seems to be the question of the week.  What is that occasion?  Not the occasion of what you are doing socially.  You've already let us know you like 'em young and blonde......moldable, bendable and pliable......What do you do to maintain that gray matter of yours, besides the obvious?  You are good looking and  fun to watch on screen, but the other part that appealed to the fans....... you talking about your work......seeing you involved in your work.  We don't see that anymore.  We haven't seen that for a long time.  All we see is someone who really doesn't know how to fill his life up.  Frankly.....you are boring the hell out of a lot of people.  People are losing interest in you.............is this what you want?  I don't think so.  You still want the attention and right now the only people giving it to you are the jail baiters and college girls.   It's what you give us to focus on.   People have zero interest in someone who is showing them nothing.............but then again, it's your life.   Just know, that boredom is seeping into lives that once were so eager to keep you front and center.  We may love you, but we may not love on you as much...your welcome Ryan Bowers....I had to use it!!!

Even if it's nothing that you are doing, tell us that.  Tell us something that keeps you busy day in and day out, besides the obvious you face each day deciding on what to eat, wear and who to "like" on IG.  You don't interact as much on twitter anymore.   Em has moved up in life and moved on.......but you seem to have taken a step or two backwards.  You are still a huge topic of conversation across the country and world.  We are not seeing the multi-faceted side of you anymore.  It's plain and simple........what are you doing now with your life?  Where are you going?  Just a few questions that seem to need answered.................Are you afraid of adulthood?

Here's your challenge..............show us, tell us...what are you doing to make this world a better place?

"what motivates me is making sure

I have an impact on peoples lives...

for the best"

Jef Holm

You do that.   You do have an impact on our lives, but do you have that same impact on your own life?  If so...give people that side.  Show them that side.   You motivate people to do better.  They need to see that same motivation in you again.  To see you do better, want to do better.  Just plain be better than you were yesterday or the day before.  Besides being someone who everyone wants to ravish, everyone also wants to have a part of a 1 f Jef in them, too.  You inspire people.  Your passion drives people to do better, each and every day.  We don't know what your passion is anymore.

The ideas for this blog are not always my thoughts alone.  This past week in particular, this was the question people asked me to write and find out......what are you doing with your life 1 f Jef?  Humor us and let us know...........

I still have your back 1 f Jef.  It  may not read like I do, but I do.........I'll still be nice,  write what people want to read, as long as you keep giving me something to write about.............you are the romance novel people want to read and never put down..........

twitter@CotySimon

1 f Jef, 50 Shades

WHEN LIFE HANDS YOU LEMONS....

YOU CAN EITHER MAKE LEMONADE OR.....

SQUIRT THEM IN PEOPLES EYES...

You can pick your poison........drink it or squirt it.   Choose not to participate or share by giving it to others, close your eyes and ignore, or open them and see what is before you.  I write this because I have ventured into unknown territory...........a territory some of you will not like.  Some of you will....but others will be disgusted.  Some of you will take to bed tonight your vivid imaginations running wild.............

There is nothing greater than seeing a human body buff, toned, and tan.  It doesn't have to be totally naked.  In fact, having little clothing on sparks imagination......makes you wonder what you would find if you could peel away the layers.  1 f Jef, you have sparked the imagination.   Someone recently posted....."there is nothing hotter than Jef Holm shirtless on vine".  Amen to that sista......Actually, he's hot period without a shirt, with or without  motion.  Just standing there, in next to nothing, leaves one a bit breathless and wiping away salty drops of sweat...........and then realizing your mouth has been wide open all this time catching flies............ 

1 f Jef,  amused us this week with all of his posts.......1 f Jef, thank you, thank you, thank you..........not just for me, but for all the zillion females out there.  It doesn't matter what you post, what you say, or what you do, you send shivers of excitement down our spines..........Your friends are pretty nice to gaze at also.   It has been a nice week of media from you.  You can ride a uni-cycle.  Now step it up.....can you juggle, too , while riding the uni-cycle?  Just sayin, it would be kind of fun to see you do that.  Or......pat your head, and rub your belly......oh, yes....but shirtless, please..... The sound of your laugh is what we like to hear.  And, see a smile on your face.  You bring smiles to our faces, and happy to our hearts...........You dive.....of course you do!  A perfect 10?  Nope, but that's okay.  You were shirtless.....that was a perfect 10.   Keep it up, tootsie.......we are lovin' it..........

I have spent some time chatting with several people, some of 1 f Jefs' loyal fans, who have brilliant ideas on how to keep him up close, and in our faces. After going to bed from a nights session with one nice and brillantly descriptive person, my mind wouldn't shut off, and it was obvious that her mind wouldn't shut off either.  I'm enjoying my coffee the next morning, reading the previous nights tweets, looking at IG's and Vines, basically catching up on nonsense, when I get a rash of DM's from this person.   I open the DM box, read a few lines, take a sip of coffee, savor it in my mouth.......NOT.......I had to spit it out.  I am laughing my ass off.  This lady is hilarious.  She was on a roll.  We had spent some time "chatting" about 1 f Jef the previous night laughing and reminiscing....During the night.... her imagination runneth over............

It was thrown out to me to write a screenplay for a movie on 1 f Jef.  I could, but it would definitely be classified as soft porn I'm afraid.  What I  will do is share what was conjured up from inside the brain of this lady. Just a couple of them.  There were a lot.   First, this is way out of the norm for her.  She's reserved in real life.  She's let the inner child in her come out and play with me.  I'm proud of ya, girl!  

WARNING

SOME CONTENT BELOW MAY BE OFFENSIVE TO SOME.

IF YOU DON'T HAVE AN OPEN MIND, OR CAN'T OPEN YOUR MIND

THEN DON'T READ ANY FURTHER......

Once in awhile, it's okay to let loose, be free, and crazy for just a brief moment................here's your chance to do just that................

Imagine what life would be like if we could have 1 f Jef on Primetime TV, our version of Primetime Playgirl, or a big screen movie.......here are several lively examples that she shared with me. 

TBS - Instead of the hit Big Bang Theory - it would be "Bangin Him Big Time" theory.  Explore the molecular fibers of mountains, peaks, and valleys of 1 f Jefs, celestial body........gimme, gimme, gimme............

Food Network - "The Best Thing I've Ever Eaten", His lips (and his body, too).  Sit back and listen how the kisses that he gives "from his luscious, meaty, smooth, soft and delicate outline with a hint of color, slightly moist, will make you pucker up like a lemon, lips".   Ripe and ready for the "tongue" action he is so fond of sharing on pics.........(1 f Jef, this is the tongue action your ladies are waiting for).......it's kind of obvious.......you are, too. (There really is a show called 'The Best Thing I've Ever Eaten"...too funny).......

TVLand - this would have to be shown after the kiddies and some closed minded adults hit the pillows for the night........"NCIS..No.Clothes.In.Site...working not undercover, but under THE covers, solving a mystery, and of course having that climatic finish".  This show will leave you breathless and waiting for the next episode.........DVR's will be in overdrive, replay and rewind will be in hot demand..........cold shower, anyone?  Is it time for me to let your mind pass on by as it travels down the gutter?

Big Screen - Brokeback Mountain- "How I broke my back riding 1 f Jef"...........save a horse, ride 1 f Jef..........giddyup cowboy......boots, chaps, and nothing else but a hat on his head.........take that imagine to bed, or the hay barn, with you one night and see how vivid your dreams get.

If you made it this far, you were warned about the content.  It's meant to be humorous, silly, and taken with a grain of salt.   1 f Jef has a good sense of humor and if he reads this I hope he laughs out loud.  I am still being nice writing about 1 f Jef. I can't say enough good things about him.  I know many of you are laughing and also holding your head in your hands this very second because you are embarrassed to admit you read the whole thing.....compared to what is out there, this ain't nothin'....worse things have been written about 1 f Jef from other people.  For me, this is cotton candy compared to some of the "rotten shit" that has been printed........I won't apologize for writing this.  It was done with good intentions to have some fun.  It was done at 1 f Jefs expense, but like I said, I think he can handle it.  He knows what he does to the female population.  More than likely, I won't do this again.......

Laughing is good for the soul, just as crying is good for cleansing the soul.   If you are disgusted reading this, then maybe you need to loosen up a bit.  No one is going to judge you for reading some questionable writings.......open you mind.  Accept what you just read as rambling thoughts from a couple of crazy ladies who were having some fun, sharing some gut wretching laughs, at 1 f Jefs expense, (sorry, not sorry 1 f  Jef)  and letting the inner children out to play.  No one is going to judge you, but you yourself...........it's okay to be wild and free, even if it's just for a brief moment.   This is mild compared to 50 Shades of Grey.......put 1 f Jef in Christians role.................and you in the others...........now let your imagination run away...........go for it......sweet dreams my lovelies.  Dream big tonight...............

Now then, Brooks Forester.........move over 1 f Jef, there's a new guy in the neighborhood.  You may spin pillows, he spins basketballs.  I'm liking this guy more and more. I'm also a little biased, too.  He's another homeboy............I like seeing him with Des.  I like seeing him with Des a lot!!!  I'm buying a dozen wands, and a boat load of fairy dust..........Fairytale ending?  Hmmmmmmmm, let the sprinkling begin..........I will be sharing space in my heart for Brooks Forester.  Have no fear, 1 f Jef, you still keep my heart pounding........ 

twitter@CotySimon..................

1 f Jef, So far, so fine, so good

I spent a few days on a beach doing nothing.  I let the sunshine slap my face with a few more sun spots,  snapped a few Kodak moments, and cuddled with my favorite 4 legged furry friend... Charlie the Dog.  Just getting away from the daily chaos of life,  does wonders for the mind........clears the cobwebs out.  Like spring cleaning your house, it's a clean sweep of your brain.  Sounds crazy, but it's true.  There is nothing closer to heaven for the devil in me than where I was at, even with the side effects of the sun.  Thank you sunscreen person for inventing this wonderful product....my love affair can continue with the sun and I can use precautionary measures.  I just love the feel of a sunscreen condom on my face and body!!!  I'm lying........... I hate it, but it's necessary.  I am a sun lover.......grew up using baby oil as my choice of suntan lotion  and I'm paying the price now......can't turn the clock back, and can't change what's already happened, but I can hopefully prevent further damage.  I will use it....but I can't promise that I will be faithful to it.

Why so quiet, 1 f Jef?   Hardly any tweets, or IG's, or Vines............why?  In the last 10 days or so, he's been a travel bug.....moving from place to place and also running from point A to point B.  I'm exhausted, too. and I'll have done is read about your adventures and your Electric Run in LA............pardon me while I wipe a bit of sweat off my brow.  You do have youth on your side.  Run with it for as long a you can.....old age does have a way of creeping up on you................I feel that you're only as old as you feel.  Well, today, I'm not quite as perky as I was yesterday......but you and a good pot of coffee in the morning, make it enjoyable........It makes me wonder why all of a sudden you are quiet.  I know you've posted a pic or two on IG or a Vine, or a vague tweet here occasionally, but this is not the 1 f Jef that has always been so chatty and eager to share...........Why the difference? What has changed?  Or what is changing?  Is there something or is it nothing at all?

It doesn't matter where you go, you are recognized.  Putting on your RayBans will not disguise your face.  Sorry, but it's etched into our brains.  The cameras love your face........... Nice interview on TMZ.......cameras really, really do like you.........the question that should be asked is, what doesn't like you?   Ever thought about acting?  You seem to be a good actor already.   How about being a talk show host?  You've proven to us you can speak and speak well.   I bet your forte just might lay with becoming a late night TV informational expert.  You do mesmerize us with your voice, so talking us into buying some senseless and useless gadget, could work in your favor.  To close the sale, just look straight into the camera.  Blink those blue eyes a few times.  Your eyes would be hypnotizing people and subconsciously telling them that it could be yours in just three easy payments of $99.99.......plus shipping and handling, of course..........we already know what your looks do the the ladies out in this world.....just imagine what you could do up close and personal on the big screen?  I could ask if you are getting tired of all the attention, but I don't think you are tired of it at all.  I think you revel in it.  And, why not?  It's yours, you earned, so take it while the gettin' is good...............all good things eventually do come to an end.  But, not  today, tomorrow, or next week.  Sometime and somewhere  down the road, it will come to an end...........you will be a good memory.  A fond memory.   

The Bachelorette started. I thought you might share a tweet or two as the fellas sauntered their way towards Des.  No comment on metal man, the Knight in Shining Armor?  No comment about the dude with the nice abs?  I really thought you might say something about Mr. Fantasy Suite....loser..I'm not referring to you, but el' creepo..... Thought maybe you might comment on Brooks.  A transplanted homeboy.   I kind of wanted you to relive your skateboarding limo powered ride from that same night.  That entrance can't be beat.   A guy on Des's season now loves to skateboard and surf, just like you.    But, nope, not a peep was heard from you other than, you would be watching Des.. One thing for sure, you are missed.  That was made evident by the number of people on twitter expressing their views on you.  "Please be the next bachelor so I can apply and go on".  There isn't an age group out there that doesn't want you to shine like a star and be the next bachelor.   Blah, blah, blah..... I'm thinking you've left a blank page in your book of dreams to consider becoming the next Bachelor.  I've heard rumors to this. But why would you even entertain the thought?   Fame, fortune, glory?  Hmmmmm, could that be it?    I've been dead set against you doing the Bachelor but I think my mind is coming around and grabbing that very idea now.  YES. YES. YES...........do us a huge favor and do become the next Bachelor.  I for one would enjoy seeing you on screen again.    But do one thing first................

You'll never find a perfect soul mate.  Sorry, they don't exist.  That is what makes lifes' choices an adventure.  If we had "perfect" all the time, what else can you or could you learn? Another part of loves learning experience is teaching.  Become the teacher......sometimes all it takes is a little push for a person to jump outside the box.  Inside the box, are just 4 walls, a ceiling, a floor and it's dark.   Outside the box, you have the world in living color.................the best part of being the teacher......even if they don't grab a hold of what you are wanting to do, go ahead and do it on your own.  Who says that you have to do everything the same and together.   Have some of the same interests, but have the same values.  Be each others best friend.   It's okay to have different interests, different opinions.  Not even my best friends and I agree on everything.  We have different likes and dislikes.  Same goes with the hubby and I.  We don't see eye to eye on everything.  We never will.  But we have survived and made our relationship work.  We're not always on the same page.  We don't always agree with one another either.  But isn't the best part of arguing, the making up?

If you do become the next bachelor......I will not hold back.  You were a shadow for the most part on the Bachelorette.  You stayed away from the drama and the craziness, at least on camera.    You become the bachelor, you will be the drama, the craziness. You can bet your bottom dollar, darlin', I will let these fingers fly.   I will not be responsible for what flows out of the brain cell after each episode.   If you're boring, then I will say you're boring.  But if you put some spark in it, well then.............let the imagination and the words flow............maybe it's time for this bad ass inner child to show a little spark and spunk.  Let my colorful mind runneth over..................if the girls show lack of brains or have other not so redeeming qualities, my human host will not take responsibility for my actions.................you just might pull it off.....just think of it as a large sorority house with someone filming a constant flow of film.........you won't be left out of the barrage of words that might fly either....the coat of armor that has been on your back shielding you, will fall away.  Hunting season will begin.  The red bullseye on your back will be bright and big.........I hope you haven't worn out your running shoes.........you'll need them................it will be open hunting season on you.  I'm pretty sure, it won't be just me having a bit of fun at your expense.... For right now, I will be kind, considerate, and keep my thoughts in check........unless something is thrown my way to have a bit of fun with.........you thrive on the attention, so me adding to the mix shouldn't matter or like now...it doesn't matter.   I still think your family will have a huge influence on you doing the show.  You ARE and ALWAYS will be, a Holm......from a good family.   I know, I know, you are you're own person, a free spirit, someone who thinks he's ready to settle down, but being on the bachelor.....like I said, it'll be hunting season, and you're the target..............

Oh,  shucky darn......I'm really full of hot air.......I really don't know what I would  do or will do if 1 f Jef does become the next bachelor.  He is after all a human......and so am I.......I don't think I ever want to piss him off.  I think he has a streak in him that could cut someone clean in half if he so desired.  I choose not to be on that receiving end.   I have a lot of respect for 1 f Jef..I happen to like him as a subject matter to write about........I feel like it might be time to move on to something else.........I'm open to suggestions...........any thoughts????

Why so stingy with pictures, vines and tweets this week?  You send a cryptic tweet, which sends everyone into a frenzy trying to decipher what it meant....."Give in to me"...... everyone would give in to you and some probably do when asked.  You don't have to ask twice any girl you encounter...they are yours for the picking.   You've got choices galore all vying for a piece of you.  Besides words from a song, what are you trying to convey to your maddening female audience?   Here's a thought.......who has caught your eye?  Is this the reason you are so quiet?  Trying to lay low and be cool?

I see life as a gift.  I live every moment as if it could be my last.  I think you do, too.  You are a free spirit.  So far, you are so fine and so good at whatever you set your mind to.  But you're slacking in the motion vine department, twitter chatter, and IG photos.........how about stepping it up some?  Panic and mass hysteria is about to take place amongst the female hormonal population.............it's not a pretty sight to behold when withdrawals from 1 f Jef start.........this is an SOS to you 1 f Jef.  Pretty please, with sugar on it?      ...---...   ...---...   ...---...

Humor us and post more.  Not only for my sake, but for every crazy woman around.   You're so much fun to write about that I would hate to see this all come to an end now................


Twitter@CotySimon

1 f Jef, Free Spirit

It's Memorial Weekend............I'm headed to a beach, up north,  a place where I can refresh, refocus, and breathe.  A place where my camera is happy snapping away, and I can gaze upon the most gorgeous, Carribean blue water.  I won't be dipping my toes in it as it froze over this winter and it's still about 50 degrees to cold for me.  Even in August when I head back up, it will still be cold, but at least I'll have the warmth of the sun to warm me once I get out of it..... I wrote this blog awhile back.  Back when I was struggling with what to write about 1 f Jef.  I added a little recent activity from him before I left,  but for the most part, it's an old one that was never published.  It's boring, so beware. I want to go away, let my spirit be free, and hope that I don't freeze my ass off doing it.   I will come back to civilization  with fresh eyes in my head, and a clear mind...........and maybe 1 f Jef will have left some interesting, fun, pleasant to look at, pics or vids that I can oogle at, and give me inspiration.   I do not like to be soooooooo serious when typing away about 1 f Jef.   Am I getting tired of writing about him?

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When I look through a camera lens, I never see the same thing twice.  Sometimes I see and I don't see at the same time. I've used this saying, blind in on eye, and can't see out of the other, as it's the truth and gets to the point.   I get so focused on something, that everything else surrounding it becomes blurry.  I'm amazed as to what you can see when you focus on something and snap a picture.  I'm also equally baffled as to what I didn't see the first time around with my eyes open.   When snapping pictures, I try to remember to look up.   Looking up, I always see something different.  Life is about looking up.  Life is not about looking away..................see life as it is now, and not what it could be or should be.   Just another way of saying.....live with no regrets.  Live for today, not tomorrow, or what you left behind with yesterday to tackle on another day...........love it, leave it, and move on from it............

I'm at a roadblock.  Or is it a fork in the road?   I'm not sure whether to take a left or a right.  Is it time to let the spirit soar?  What more can I say about the guy?   He's never boring, someone is always talking about him, good or bad, male or female.   I've said that he can hypnotize you with his eyes, those baby blue eyes.   Eyes that show compassion, and at the same time, could probably shoot daggers at you.  Then in a blink of an eye, soften and give you those dreamy eyes, that causes a person to blush as you can only imagine what he's thinking.   He can mesmerize you with his voice.  A soft spoken voice.  A  voice that speaks volumes and sends little shivers up and down your spine......I'll let the imagination take over for that one.   I wrote about fingers doing a "dirty dancing"  over his bare chest....what else can I say without causing a ruckus of hysteria........

He's got a way with words.  I've written about that, too.  I've quoted him, used song lyrics to describe thoughts and feelings, used quotes I like and  quotes that I've made up from my one, lonely brain cell that is still sparking away.

He's a free spirit......he told us that.  He leads a very interesting life.  He's a bird that flies silently in the wind.  Life is an adventure for him.  But for some reason, I still feel as if he is walking, running, and flying away FROM something, and not TO something or TO someone.  Your life is an adventure.   What's going to happen when you want to settle down?  Have a family?  Are you going to still be that wandering spirit soaring so high that you don't want to come down?  You can't soar forever, 1 f Jef.  Or can you?  Your life is an adventure.  We get it.......but does your spirit get it?  Eventually what goes up, must come down.........are you always going to be a wandering free spirit?   It is your life.  Live it the way you want, how you want.  This is what free spirits do..............

He's putting up a happy front....I still see some unhappiness and uneasiness in him.  What is making him soar into the wind?  What is his passion?  Is it the travel he's doing?  Places he's gone to?   What is his driving force?   I can speculate and wonder.  You make your own happiness and you make your own misery.  I know one thing for sure.......I've truly let go of the fairytale ending that I wanted.............I took my sunglasses off and saw the sunshine.........the cloud that was over me has dissipated........Will you find that someone who will have that never ending willpower to go, and go and go and go......like the EverReady rabbit?  It makes me wonder what you are afraid of.  What ARE you afraid of 1 f Jef?  You show no fear.......ever.  Your confidence in the world is incredible.........no wonder we like to follow your every move........Are you afraid of losing the charisma, the power, the confidence you have?  What is it 1 f Jef?  What is it...........

He saw London.......He saw France........briefly on both.  You'd think that if you were in these places, you'd post a few more pics of what you were seeing. Isn't he the social media guru?  Doesn't his phone die at least 4 times a day?  Where's that new charger that keeps him on full power?  You just can't simply try to blend into the world, when you are 1 f Jef.  He may not be an actor, writer, singer, but what he is, is someone that America, and the world, fell head over heels for.  You cannot dismiss him as someone that will fade away in the sunset, be washed away with a down pouring rain, or  be swept away with a broom.  Is this his way of letting us know, that it's time to leave him alone?  Let him blend in with the crowd.  Fat chance, big guy................if that were the case, then why tell us you were headed to Paris..........A very creative twitter follower of 1 f Jef, asked that he do a "Gene Kelly"and, he did.  Dancing in the rain.  Eiffel tower in the back ground...........well done, sir, well done.  But equally, thanks for not "singing".   I hope you had a great time, marveled in the cities culture and art, and enjoyed the fine food that France offers.

1 f Jef..........what is next for you?  Give us a hint.  Where are you headed now?  No, not where are you traveling next to, but where is that free spirit of yours taking you?   If you want to be left alone, to blend into the everyday world, then just say the word.............and life will try to accommodate you and let you live in peace.  As if that will really happen!!  As long as you are around, a crowd will gather, the ladies will want you, the guys will hate you.  And, I will still blog about you.........you really do give my human host a thrill.  But it's me, the the inner child, that still wants to see what's next for you.............Let your free spirit soar to the highest and let the wind carry you wherever your heart desires.  Plant your feet on the ground once in a while, 1 f Jef........it helps to stay grounded............

twitter@CotySimon

1 f Jef, YAMOMT

Its early.  My alarm clock was a flash of lightening, quickly followed by a very loud clap of thunder.  There's no hitting the snooze button.  This is an alarm that's meant to say "wakie wakie" time to get up.  Rise and shine.  I figured once Mother Nature got over her temper tantrum, I'd fall back to sleep. but not before the rhythm of the falling rain planted a song in my head.  I love the rain and I love thunder.

Listen to the rhythm of the falling rain

telling me just what a fool I've been

I wish that it would go and let me cry in vain

And, let me be alone again.

The only girl I care about has gone away

Lookin' for a brand new start

But little does she know that when she left that day

Along with her she took my heart.

Rain, please tell me now does that seem fair

For her to steal my heart away when she don't care

I can't love another when my heart's somewhere far away.

1 f Jef, you're in London......whatcha' thinking about?  Are the memories still vivid for you?  Did you pay Jean, the etiquette Queen a visit and have a spot of tea with her?  Probably not.  How about the Pub...having some fish n chips, and a pint or two, at the same table?  Again, probably not.  I hope that you headed to the London Eye, took another trip around.  I hope you got to see what you came to see.......London as a tourist.   I hope London will stay fond memories inside your brain.  London will always mean to me a night of the most anticipated kiss.......given, and received.  You sealed the deal in a lot of hearts that night...............

Vine video is a  6 second continuous loop of entertainment.  It gives you something that you can watch over and over again.  It was a productive week for 1 f Jef.  The vines he posted were fun, easy on the eyes, and it shows us that if you put your mind to it, you can do anything.  I will never tire of looking at something or someone that is a sweet treat on the eyes, funny, hilarious, and keeps my attention.

Who knew that 1 f Jef enjoyed playing with beehives.  I think the bees might have enjoyed him, too.  Did some little stinger get to ya, 1 f Jef?  Or just the sound of the little buzzards tempting you with their stingers cause you to run away?   Whatever it was, it was the running away from the hive that had me rolling on the floor with laughter.  You remind me of a Red Skelton character, Clem Kadiddlehopper.  He was a country bumpkin with over exaggerated, clumsy movements.  He wasn't the smartest person on the the country road.  Not saying you're not smart, as you are, but being around bees, it kind of brings out the Clem in everyone I think, especially if the little buzzwads with stingers are after you.  And, it sure looked like they were making a bee-line !!!!! to you.  Red Skelton was one of the funniest comedians.  Your sense of humor and actions remind me a lot of him.  Thanks to YouTube, memories of Red are brought to life.  Thanks to Vine, videos on a continuous loop, make you come alive.  Modern day technology........gotta love it!!!!  You're all over it!

Who knew that you would be the entertainer and the entertainment of the week?  Running away from beehives, turning pirouettes, riding a unicycle, is there anything you cannot do?  You never cease to amaze the world with your talents.  What's next for you?  You're magic.....besides pulling a rabbit out of a hat, what's the next hat trick from you?  

If I were to have a "video of the week', my pick would be of 1 f Jef wake surfing and riding the waves.   Thanks for the flash of abs on this one.  One of the best 6 second continuous feeds to watch over and over again.  You have a body that women would love to dance their hands and fingers over.  It's nice that you give us that bit of pleasure of gawking.  Need help in applying sun tan lotion?  The ladies are lining up.  You looked great maneuvering the wake, but it was the little guy that stole the show.  The little guy, he's going to be another 1 f Jef when he grows up.  Watch out little ladies, he's a charmer and a little darlin'......too cute.  1 f Jef, you've got some competition in that little guy.  He's adorable.........and of course, so are you.......love warm weather months.  I hope this is just a sample of what's yet to come.........

Keep that inner child inside you moving, 1 f Jef.  It does a body good.  It does your body good.......really, it does.......trust this inner child.

The Cheshire cat from Alice in Wonderland is one of my favorite cats.  He has a grin that is mischievous.  It's a grin, with a mouthful of teeth, and it stretches from ear to ear.  The kind of smile that makes your face hurt because it feels so good.   This is the kind of grin I like wearing on my face.  A mischievous, ear to ear grin that never stops.  Thank you, 1 f  Jef, for posting what is by far the most entertaining week of Vine videos.........scrumptious, delicious, take our breath away, wow..............one can live on "Jef" alone......Keep 'em coming.........

You are definitely something wicked this way comes when you walk and talk.  The ladies go crazy when they see you.  Age doesn't matter.  You bring out the best in most everyone.  For some, you do bring out a dark side.  That's too bad.  It's their loss.  You are someone who always makes time for fans, no matter where you are at.........

Your adventures continue across the sea.  What has Paris, France got in store for you?  Share some of it with us.  Have fun, be safe, be happy, and give us a pic or two and a video or two of your adventure.  A smile always looks good on people.  It's one of the best accessories around...it goes with every outfit..........

Tuesday night brings another chance  of seeing you on TV.   Did you make some funnies that will end up on the reel of bloopers?  I hope so.....I'm looking forward to seeing them.  The popcorn is ready to be popped, the wine is chilling, the hubby will be in his "bear" den.  Charlie the dog and I will be parked on the couch, feet up watching the bloopers.   I really hope it's some that we haven't seen yet.  There has got to be miles of film to choose from.  I hope the ratings go threw the roof as it just might trigger a Blooper II.......ohhhh, wouldn't that be nice....

The new season of the Bachelorette starts soon.  I'm going to be watching along with my human host. I am going to stay quiet........maybe!!  I try not to listen to "rumors' so telling me who captured Des's heart is out of the question.  I want to see with my own eyes Des's journey and not be damaged by creepazoids that are so abundantly eager to share their thoughts.  I hope I can see this season with a fresh pair of eyes.  My heart is still mending..........Des.....I'm pullin' for ya....give us a happily-ever-after, fairytale.....

I've been doing some thinking.  I think you would make a good bachelor after all.  Riding off into the sunset is still a good idea, but maybe not before you let us belly up to the bar and drink in something sweet..... you on the big screen, again.  I'm still not sure about the ladies..........being the next Bachelor, you would be in living color.............for 12, 13 weeks.......maybe finding "normal" will be there for you.  Nah......don't do it.  It was a terrible thought.  The world can't take another withdrawal once the show is over........... 

It's still raining outside.  I'm headed out to lift my face up and wash all my sins away.  Oh, hell no....I wouldn't be any fun if I did that.  I do like to play in the rain, splash in puddles of water, and run barefoot over cool, wet grass.   Listen to the rhythm of the falling rain.................where will it take you....what will you remember?  

"My main goal in life, is to make

everyone feel special"

Jef Holm

You do, 1 f Jef, you do.....................

twitter@CotySimon

YAMOMT = You're a man of many talents

1 f Jef, Such a tease...

There is a "top 5 reason" list going around.......a list of 5 reasons why there STILL might be hope that 1 f Jef and Em get back together.  I can hear the OMG's, the WTF's...........it's a chorus of "you've got to be kidding" bellowing out amongst the crowds.  The 5 reasons seem logical to me, sort of.  They do provide me with some entertaining ideas and also some unrealistic expectations.  There is no more wishing for THE ending many wanted.  

1.  Neither has found someone else..... (some people beg to differ in opinions when it comes to Ms. Em)...She's still single, not engaged. (But she's been seen with some nice arm candy).   She's focusing on good things with her blog and jewelry line.  1 f Jef, he's still in the "bachelor" stage....although I think he'd like it to be someones arm candy.  

2.  Their love is pure...........yup.  How can you beat the words that were spoken by 1 f Jef?  You can't.  The man knows how to speak "charisma" fluently.  Em's eyes didn't lie when it came to looking at 1 f Jef through them. Nor how he looked at her either.  Love struck and blinded both of them.    

3.  Opposites attract.....That they do.  I know first hand about that.  The media says they have nothing in common.  Hmmmmmm maybe so.  I think there is more that meets the eye with these two.......You never get tired of your life being with an opposite.  You never get bored....

4.  #4 is silly and too stupid....... Chris Harrison, binding contracts written in blood.........too hilarious.......too stupid.  I personally think they couldn't come up with a #4 so they jumped right into #5.......

5.  This I totally agree with.........They'd make the cutest babies..........ever..........no argument from me.  

There is another side to who everyone thought Em should have chosen and who they think was or is the perfect match for her.  Arie Jr..........granted, he is a hunk of nice looking flesh.   I'm not being biased at all.  You have to look at it all over again.  Yes, Arie did spend a whole lot of time sucking face with Em, it's not like there wasn't chemistry there. Duh,!!!! There was a lot of it.  I agree with Arie though that maybe there should have been more coverage of their conversations, than just seeing the two lip locked on screen.   When it came to the "all said and done" part......1 f Jef, said and did it all and definitely had it all..........chemistry, charm, and words that meant a lot.  It was Em's choice.  It wasn't a choice made up from viewers votes.  Her choice came from her heart.  What she saw, what she heard, and how she felt.  Plain and simple as that.................Em saw the whole picture......we didn't..........

The man has been in Cabo.  Sun, surf, sand.  The Vine video is splendid.  The scenery is stunning with 1 f Jef in it.  Double "wow".... There is nothing like a beach to get lost on and surf to get lost in.  He's funny and I like his sense of humor.   I don't think he'll ever have to worry about being left at the altar.......1 f Jef, a Vine video is not enough air time of you. Nor is a IG pic or two.   There needs to be more.  Much more.  You were in shorts and a tank top though.  Next time.......do shirtless.  Okay, the IG pic was shirtless.  But, really now??  I like looking at pictures that don't require a magnifying glass.  Don't get me wrong.  It was still nice of you to give us a sample of a shirtless view of you.   So Mr. Cecil B. DeMille.......we're ready for his close ups.  Lots of close ups............

I'm in the "want more" stage for 1 f Jef and definitely "need more" from the man himself, and for the zillion other people out there that follow his every move........He's a habit.   He's going to go down in the history as one of the best habits to have....Just think what he's doing for the hearts out there.  It seems that if you wish upon a star, you might get what you wish for.  What a wish 1 f Jef turned out to be with Vine......Living, breathing, talking and plenty of motion.  No shoes, no shirt, and I have absolutely no problem with the lack of attire from this weekends Vine.  Thanks 1 f Jef for adding the double amount of scrumptious to your vine.  You have awesome friends.  Nice to look at.  Now that it's warm weather, plenty of no shoes, no shirt opportunities are there.  I'm tinkled pink that you are taking the time to show us a little skin.  Thank you.......it's pretty nice!!!....... Sugarhouse park is a fabulous place to a little vine making 6 second video...... you have beautiful surroundings, majestic mountains in the background, and a nearly naked friend to add a nice touch.  This is the place Charlie the dog walks me, and it's a place I can collect my thoughts, clean out the cobwebs, take pictures, people watch, and daydream.   You can't ask for a better place to have fun and hangout with family and friends.  But, could we have two Vines next time?  Or more on IG?  Or both?  One of anything is such a tease from you................you always leave us wanting more.....so much more.........never can have "too much" of 1 f Jef.........

What's next for you 1 f Jef?   What's making you happy about waking up each day?   Can you start sharing again with your fans?  You really are interesting.  You are a fascinating person.  You have an outlook on life that is incredible.   I may joke about seeing "more of you", which is no lie, but I would like to hear and see more of what you do as a person.  What are you working on now?  What are you doing?  You've shared your "inner childs" outlook on life (yes, you do have an inner child that is playing hard.  Proud of that inner child you have).  You are not too far off of being in your last year of the your 20's.  This time next year, you will be thinking about turning the "three-oh".......The start of another decade for you is just around the corner.  Where do you want to be a year from now?  Or are you still thinking what are you going to be doing tomorrow, the next day, or next week?  If taking one day at a time is your way of life.....then good for you.  I'm okay with that................As long as you continue to share tidbits and throw us a treat or two..................

May is a month of one year memory moments.......one year ago Season 8 started.  The journey began for Ms. Em and for 1 f Jef.  I remember that first night.................the ride in on the skateboard......."you smell good" meet and greet.  It was the beginning of something good that turned out not so fine, and continues to alter peoples lives.  Mostly for the good..........it's the idiots out there that think otherwise.  

You are a ramblin' man...........It's your life.  You definitely only live once.  I'm glad you're not wasting a precious second of it..........ramble on 1 f Jef........you're a busy person..........most of all.......thank you for continuing to share a small portion of it.  You still happen to be nice subject matter.........you keep me guessing, you keep me wondering, and you still keep me amazed...........don't let me down.   Please keep feeding this inner child candy.......

I hope who you see each morning when you look in the mirror, is the same person that people love to see and hear about.  And, not the one that people want to hate, hurt and stomp on.   Some people still need to hibernate.........waking up in a different century seems more appropriate.  Taking a nap won't do....but haters will always hate...........you can count on that.  This is sound advice for everyone.  Not just you, 1 f Jef.....everyone.........

twitter@CotySimon